„Life has its own natural choreography“
Pema Chödrön
My approach as a Death Doula
Life, dying, death, and grief are not separate stages of existence; they belong together. As parts of a continuum, they are organically connected, with fluid boundaries between them. The experiences we carry leave traces and influence the moments that follow, including future experiences of loss, farewell, and grief.
What is a Death Doula?
Death doulas can offer support at any stage of life, not only at the end of life. A death doula provides holistic guidance and companionship through experiences of dying, death, loss, and farewell. This support may include practical, organizational, and emotional aspects, and can also encompass spiritual concerns when relevant.
Death doula work is non-medical and does not replace medical care, psychotherapy, hospice services, or other professional support. Rather, it complements these services by providing information, sharing knowledge, and supporting people in engaging with mortality, making informed choices, and shaping end-of-life experiences according to their own values and wishes.
Holistic Support
To me, holistic means
- Practical, emotional, and spiritual support
- Support across the entire continuum of life, dying, death, and mourning
- Supporting personal self-determination, freedom of choice, and the ability to act at all times
- Considering structural power relations and the realities of marginalized groups
- Resource orientation
- Making life as worth living as possible until the last breath.
- Creating individual ways and spaces for saying goodbye
Support through different stages of life
For me, this means
- Accompanying people on their journey through different stages of life and the associated internal and external processes.
- This can be done continuously or intermittently, with intervals of time in between.
- Some support focuses on a specific stage of life.
- In this case, it means having sound knowledge of the processes that preceded or will follow the respective stage of life. It also means considering and taking into account these past and future processes.
Dying and Grief as Processes of Inner Growth
I believe that the journeys of dying and grieving, despite all their challenges, can also be processes of personal growth and inner development. They can become times of profound transformation—for example, an opportunity to come to terms with the reality of death and to prepare for an impending farewell.
While not all circumstances can be influenced, the closer a farewell aligns with a person’s own values, the more space there is for exploring what dying and death may mean beyond the material aspects of life.
Non-discriminatory and trauma-sensitive
I believe that every person, regardless of their social position, should have the opportunity to experience a “good death.” Whether this is possible is also a question of access to resources. At the same time, the question of what makes life worth living and what a “good death” might look like will be answered differently by each individual.
For me, approaching life and death with awareness and respect also means recognizing structural power dynamics and reflecting on my own identities and privileges. I strive to provide support that is trauma-informed and mindful of discrimination, while respecting the lived experiences of people affected by social exclusion and oppression, including racism, antisemitism, ableism, classism, and homophobia or transphobia.
Open to people of all faiths and beliefs
For many people, the term spirituality can feel off-putting. In my experience, however, spiritual questions are often woven into the process of dying, death and grief. They tend to arise naturally, even for people who would not consider themselves “spiritual.”
My approach takes into account the significance of religion or spirituality in the life of the person I accompany. At the same time, it does not assume or promote any particular spiritual or religious worldview. It is open to people from secular and non-religious backgrounds, as well as those from a wide range of religious and spiritual traditions.
I adapt to your personal relationship with spirituality and religion. If you have an active religious practice, I am happy to support you in connecting with your faith community. I welcome people of all faiths, beliefs, and worldviews.