End of life support &
grief counseling
End of life support & grief counseling
In my end-of-life and grief support, I support and advise you in processes of change, transition and farewell. These can be e.g. the end of a phase of life, the change or parting from life circumstances, places, people, health or life.
Life, dying, death and mourning are not separate stages of life, but are interconnected. It is therefore important to me to approach life and death holistically. For me, this includes supporting people at different stages of their life or farewell journey. Counseling can take place in a variety of settings, including your home, a hospital, a hospice, a cemetery, or during a walk in nature. It can be a one-time meeting or support over a longer period of time. Find out more about my approach as a Death Doula.
My offer is suitable for people
- who are dealing with dying, grief or loss in different ways
- who want to plan & prepare for the end of their life
- with a life-threatening diagnosis or life-limiting illness
- in the last phase of life
- Caring for a dying person or animal
- in the transition period between death and funeral
- Organizing the farewell – their own or for a loved one
- After the death of a loved one
- Wanting to make important days (e.g., anniversary of death, birthday, holidays) meaningful for themselves
It is important to me to offer BIPoC, queer, trans* and inter* people sensitive and non-discriminatory support and counseling. My focus is on supporting people from the LGBTIQA+ community. You can find out more under Queer & End of Life.
What I offer
- Counseling and support – the right moment
- Counseling
- End of life planing
- Creative support: such as palliative art therapy, creative grief work, painting an urn or casket or memorial design
- Spiritual or philosophical questions
- Relaxation and wellbeing
- Support during the last phase of Life
- Holding a Vigil at home
- Moments of farewell: Taking care of the body
Support and counseling in times of grief and death – the right moment
It is never too early or too late to adress questions and issues relating to the end of life.
Any time is the right time.
End-of-life care, in the broadest sense, may mean that you are dealing with the topic without a current reason, and clarifying various questions for yourself. As soon as you accept the idea of dying one day, you can start to prepare for it, e.g. with a End of Life Plan.
Counseling
My counseling is neither “therapy” nor a “chat session”. Together we will look for tools to help you find your own answers and solutions and make your own decisions.
We talk about what is important to you and consider what a good life might look like for you. This may involve decisions or practical challenges you are facing, as well as emotional or spiritual concerns.
Dealing with dying, death and grief raises questions for which there are no standard answers.
You may wonder what lies ahead for you. Whether you can express your worries and fears? What things you still want to do or experience? Whether something will come afterwards, and if so, what? What will happen to your loved ones when you are no longer there? How to talk about it with your children? What will happen when your loved one dies? How to manage your relationship with your deceased loved one? Whether you are doing everything right or whether the way you feel is “normal”?
I will support you in finding your personal answers.
End of Life Planing | Information and resources
Finding out what you want or need to arrange usually requires some preliminary information. It’s about exploring your own wishes and values, as well as organizational considerations, legal requirements, and paperwork. And it’s about communicating your ideas to family and friends and get them on board, so they can act in your best interests.
Together, we can draw up an advance care plan. In it, you write down all the things that might be important to you and your loved ones, such as wishes regarding medical treatment, who should make decisions for you, who you would like to give power of attorney to, what should happen to your estate, who should care for your children, pets and family, whether you would prefer to be buried in a Burial Forest or at sea, and what you would like to happen for your farewell ceremony. We will go over important information and documents, draw up the arrangements that are right for you, and consider whether you need to make legally binding arrangements for certain matters, such as if you have children or in partnerships.
For more information, see End of Life Planning.
Creative support in end-of-life care and grief counseling
There are many creative options in grief and end-of-life care that are useful and appropriate depending on the situation. What they all have in common is that creative activities help you to calm and stabilize yourself. Find out more about
- Palliative Art Therapy
- Creative Grief Work
- Painting an urn or casket or creating your own mementos & keepsakes
Spiritual or philosophical questions
At the end of one’s life or when someone has died, existential questions arise, such as where we come from and where we are going. What awaits us when we die. Questions about meaning, love, guilt, hope, forgiveness or reconciliation. Answers to these questions are individual and personal.
For some people, their religion plays a role; for others, dealing with these questions has nothing to do with religion. Being at peace with yourself makes it easier to walk your own path without fear and to let go in the dying process.
I adapt to your personal approach to spirituality and religion. Whether you feel connected to a particular religion or are an atheist, we can talk about your thoughts and ideas in a way that leaves room for different views. If you have a religious practice, I will help you connect with people in your community who can guide you through this time.
Relaxation and wellbeing
I work with practices that support physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. What they all have in common is that they help to reduce anxiety and create a general sense of calm, for example through
- Imagination
- Working with inner images (e.g. guided imagery journeys)
- guided meditation and
- gentle relaxation
Support during the last phase of Life
I support you in in shaping the phase of transition in the way you wish for yourself or for the person you are supporting. This may mean that we turn to the topic at an early stage and draw up a “roadmap”. Thereby also discussing what would be good for everyone involved and where possible compromises can be made. This can involve
- Practical things, such as pleasant, calming or personally meaningful sounds, tastes, scents, fabrics or objects
- Organizational matters that still need to be clarified and possibly addressed
- Interpersonal issues and questions, such as: What is still open or unresolved? What still needs to be said? What makes it difficult? Or how to find closure and say goodbye?
- I offer support at the deathbed on a selective or situational basis.
- For queers: support in dealing with integrated services
My role is that of a Death Doula. I support, counsel and coach you holistically. I do not offer continuous on-site support such as nursing staff or volunteer end-of-life care. If services such as nursing, hospice or palliative care services are involved, a networked approach is a matter of course for me.
Holding a Vigil at home
A wake is traditionally a time to watch over someone who is close to death or has already passed away. A time to gather, to remember and to accompany and honor the transition into death. I support you if you want to do a vigil in the transition phase before death. And also in the time after death. How long a vigil can last after death depends on the regional funeral regulations.
Moments of farewell: Taking care of the body
Taking care of the body, washing and dressing a person together after death is a ritual as old as humanity itself. After the death of a loved one, there are many things you can do on your own to say goodbye. The idea may seem overwhelming at first. However, taking action in difficult situations is usually good for you.
I will support you in this. We can wash and dress your deceased together. The coffin can be personalized or painted, small gifts and presents can be added and and can be closed together. All of this can be accompanied by lights and music. It depends on the individual circumstances whether it is possible to lay out your person at home or whether only the premises of the funeral director are suitable for the care of the deceased and the farewell. If the latter is the case, I can accompany you there.
Perhaps you already have an idea of what you would like to give your deceased loved one on their final journey. If not, we can think together about what is needed for you and your loved one. I will assist you if you wish to design, craft or make something yourself.
With the exception of a few ecologically unsuitable materials, anything that feels good and right can go in the coffin, e.g. things of personal value, photos, a few lines written by yourself, your favorite newspaper, the beloved stuffed animal, cuddly sleeping socks or cigarettes and chocolate.
Procedure
- 20-minute info call by phone or online via video chat (free)
- Cost of additional meetings varies by scope
- Frequency and location of meetings by arrangement
- Appointment usually 60 minutes, longer by arrangement